i once wrote in my other blog: I am waiting to happen. (check out "Mine" on Links).
i was able to watch part of "etnernal sunshine of the spotless mind" on Cinemax while wracking my brains for lies to put in my script. (The TV in the office happens to be stationed directly in front of me). unfortunately i couldn't get anything out of what i watched, the volume was tuned really low and it was noisy anyway...it was all visual entertainment. i was exclaiming to myself how superb the shots were, and i tried making out some pointers from the movie that i may be able to use in the future--
and then everything just stopped. i was plumetting, there was a drone in the head--you've lost your time, there will be no next short film for you, you're band's growing silent, and your poetry stinks. guess you're stuck here with the demons in hell's pit.
i go down to work at hell's pit five times a week, and i don't know how i survive the week. yeah, i've lost my time, and the people i usually share ideas with and i'm alone, i guess. more than ever now, i'm alone and hopeless. after four years of dreaming i haven't done anything and here i am four years later still dreaming of the same things that i can't turn my energies to because there's just not enough of everything i need. Damnit.
