For almost a week, the sky seems to have sympathized with me. I'd like to think i were the Sumerian deity Iskur.
I am not sure if this is still Ondoy storming through Cebu, but i think i like the sky dark and gray like this.
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I feel stupid and unintelligent. i feel stupid and unintelligent, perhaps because i feel people around me are more intelligent, and some people simply never fail to make me feel stained--too dirty-- for all acts of stupidity i commit. The wise would tell me of the insignificance of such impressions, because i, and not others, define my own being, but i'm sorry that i simply cannot help but admit to the mistakes imposed by the subtexts in words hurled at me, mistakes imposed upon me by the consequences of daggers of letters thrown across the room. In retrostpect, although i have realized and proven that all that was said was not entirely true (and not entirely false, either), what was definitely not some superficial and passing reaction was the anger that filled the whole room and caused a storm inside it at 4 o'clock one Satrurday morning. There is a gloomy calm now, as normally as it would succeed all storms, though this one seems to forebode the next.
back at home, there have not been any big storms recently, except that the aftermath of the last one is too much for me to take. everyone seems to have retreated into silence. i have joined the lot, as well--the act, a manifest of weakness. bridges between people are beyond repair, and they have resorted to sitting helplessly intheir own sides of the bridges. Now there is a big wind gust that just might blow everything away from us.
Russ told me he wants to go home but doesn't know where it is. With all these storms, no one knows where their homes are anymore.
